For many of us, our schedules are so busy. We spend our days running from one thing to the next, never pausing to consider if we are “Saying Yes” to things God actually intended for us to pursue. If you’re like me, it’s easy to acknowledge that you’re too busy. It’s easy to admit that you have said “Yes” to some things which perhaps should have been a “No”. But, if you’re like me, you might also be asking, how do we know if the opportunity before us is something for which God desires for us to “Say Yes”? How do we know what is the right path to take? How do we know that we are making a wise decision?
First, it’s important to remember that there are two types of decisions we face. The first are decisions that are simple and straightforward. They don’t require extensive thought or processing. They are decisions that we can give a quick “Yes” or “No” to and move on. Should I feed the kids today? Yes. Should I let my toddler wander onto the street? No. Every day we will face decisions that deserve no more than a quick “Yes” or “No”. God has given us the discernment we need to confidently make these types of decisions.
Sometimes, however, we are faced with decisions that are more complex, more difficult. These decisions often are not always straightforward and working through them can often leave us feeling conflicted, anxious, or even overwhelmed. Should I take the job offer? Should we try for another baby? Should I “Say Yes” to this opportunity that has come before me? Have you ever faced a decision like that? I know I have. How do we approach those types of decisions?
We have to start by gathering wisdom. Wisdom is defined as the ability to discern or judge what is true, what is right or what is lasting. God’s Word tells us that He will give us wisdom. God will give us the ability to discern what is true, what is right, what is lasting, if we ask.
“If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking. The key is that your request be anchored by your single-minded commitment to God. Those who depend only on their own judgment are like those lost on the seas, carried away by any wave or picked up by any wind.”
James 1:5-6 (VOICE)
God will give us the wisdom needed when we face difficult decisions if we ask. However, we have to be committed to following Him and obeying His commands. We can only grow in wisdom if we are growing in our knowledge of Him and His Ways.
How do we grow in knowledge? Knowledge comes as we study God’s Word and the truth we find in its pages. In the Scriptures, God tells us how we are to live. The more we read God’s Word, the more we will understand what is true. The more we read His Word, the more we will understand how He wants us to live. The more we read God’s Word, the more we will understand which decisions are wise.
It’s also important, as we grow in our knowledge of Him and His ways, that we are taking what we have learned and are applying it in our own lives. As we apply what we learn to our own walks, our mothering, our marriages, and our relationships, we develop insight. We develop a deeper understanding of God, His ways, and how He wants us to live. We develop a deeper understanding of what makes a wise decision.
As we grow in insight and develop a deeper understanding of God, discernment will come. Discernment is the ability to distinguish truth from error, the right path from the wrong one. Discernment is that still, small voice of the Spirit within us who reminds us of the truth we know and how we should be applying it. Discernment helps us make those wise decisions.
As we seek Him and His ways, wisdom is found there. Any decision we make that is filtered through the truth found in God’s Word will be a wise one. Lysa Terkeurst says,
“Decisions that are wise today will still be wise decisions tomorrow.”
We have to seek Him and His wisdom.
Sometimes, however, even if we’ve been gathering wisdom and growing in discernment, we can still feel conflicted when it comes to making a decision. Sometimes the path God has before us isn’t clear. In those cases, it is important to process and carefully evaluate the decision before saying “Yes” or “No”. To evaluate something is to judge, to assess, or to analyze. Careful evaluation can help us discern whether an opportunity before us is one in which God desires us to “Say Yes”. When we evaluate an opportunity, there are several things to consider.
First, what expectations and responsibilities will come by saying “Yes”. If you “Say Yes”, what commitment are you being expected to fulfill? If you “Say Yes”, what additional responsibilities will you be adding to your plate? It is important to evaluate and clearly understand the expectations and responsibilities that will come with “Saying Yes”.
Secondly, it is important to identify if those expectations and responsibilities are realistic for you in your current season of life. Think about your time. Do you have the time in your current schedule to devote to the demands saying “Yes” to this opportunity will bring? Think about your abilities. Do you have the necessary skills needed for this commitment? Consider your finances. Can you afford the financial responsibilities that come along with this commitment? Think about your passions. Do the responsibilities of this opportunity excite you or fill you with a sense of dread? Does this opportunity before you fit in with those things you are most passionate about? Given your current season, can you commit to the expectations and responsibilities that will come if you “Say Yes”? When facing a difficult decision, it’s important to consider this.
Next, identify if you have the resources this opportunity needs or deserves. Luke shares the wisdom in doing this.
“Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’ Or can you imagine a king going into battle against another king without first deciding whether it is possible with his ten thousand troops to face the twenty-thousand troops of the other? And if he decides he can’t, won’t he send an emissary and work out a truce?”
Luke 14:28-32 (MSG)
It is wise to think about the resources an opportunity needs or deserves before saying “Yes”. Do you have the physical resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? Do you have the financial resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? Do you have the spiritual resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? Do you have the emotional resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? If you cannot answer “Yes” to each of these questions, you need to say “No” to this opportunity.
Now, it can be argued that God can supernaturally give in those areas where we are lacking. And He absolutely can. But, He doesn’t always. Carefully pray over and evaluate what will be required of you before you “Say Yes” to something.
I want to close by encouraging you to do something before you “Say Yes” to more thing. I want you to evaluate the expectations and responsibilities and see if they match with your current season of life, and I want you to see if you have the resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves. But, I also want you to think about your approach. What do I mean by that? God’s Word tells us that our approach to activities, our approach to people, our approach to life must always be loving and it must always . . . honor Him. Colossians 3:17 (VOICE) says,
“Surely, no matter what you are doing (speaking, writing, or working), do it all in the name of Jesus our Master, sending thanks through Him to God our Father.”
Everything we do must honor Him. Lysa Terkeurst says,
“If the activity we’re considering is in line with God’s Word, but our approach to that activity isn’t, we will overdraw ourselves and bankrupt this part of our lives. A good approach to something requires enough resources to handle the demands of the activity . . . If someone or something demands attention that I don’t have the emotional space to handle, my actions start betraying my intentions. I will start slipping at reflecting Jesus in my words and deeds. When we slip at living out the Word of God, we slip at living in the will of God.”
Before you “Say Yes” to one more thing, ask yourself these questions:
- It feels thrilling to “Say Yes” to this now. But how will this “Yes” feel two weeks, two months, and six months from now?
- Do any of the expectations that will come from this “Yes” feel forced or frantic?
- Could any part of this “Yes” be tied to people pleasing?
- Is my desire to please skewing my judgment of what’s realistic and unrealistic?
- Which wise (older, grounded in God’s Word, more experienced, and more mature) people in my life think this is a good idea?
- Are there any facts I try to avoid or hide when discussing this with my wise advisors?
If taking on that opportunity means saying yes to one or more of those questions, then let me ask you this . . . . Are you the right person for that assignment? Is that opportunity something to which God would have you “Say Yes”? Lysa says,
“Whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied.”
Will you bring a heart fixed on Jesus ready to move in His will or will you bring a heart that is reluctant and fixed on this world? Our activities must honor Him, yes. But our attitude and our approach are just as important.
Saying “Yes” is about truly understanding those assignments God has just for us. Carefully evaluate and process the opportunities that come before you; measure them against what you know is true, what you know is right. Look for the invitations God has before you. When you see them, “Say Yes”. “Say Yes”, and bring honor to His name.